The only time I have been to Coachella, I snuck into the festival. That’s right. I didn’t even have my own ticket. Truth is, there’s always ways to get in when you don’t have a ticket. If you have the desire to make your way onto the polo fields for Andre and Big Boi’s triumphant reunion this year, but don’t have a ticket, it is time to take a risk.
Use one of these 4 strategies to gain your entrance. All have been done successfully, but none are guaranteed to work. Use at your own risk. See you on the other side.
Sneak in Strategy #1 – The Photographer
An old friend used to use this method for years. He happened to be a pro photographer so that may have helped but still, it’s worth a shot if you got the materials and the performance skills to do it right. Grab as many backstage passes and wrist bands from other events as you can find. It’s cool if you can’t find any, laminate some baseball cards with neon green tape stuck to them and hang them around your neck with lanyard straps. Then, cut more lanyard straps and old wrist bands and put them on your wrists, one wrist is fine. Perhaps your right will do. Then gear up with at least 2 if not 3 legit cameras that you can carry around your neck and across your shoulders. The more gear the better. Take this gear with you to the fairgrounds and don’t forget your cell phone! As you begin your approach, make your way to the press entrance or the backstage area with cameras dangling and your phone in your hand. Begin a ferocious conversation with your imaginary ‘client’ on the phone and pick up the pace as if you need to get in. Start screaming about the traffic, your lenses, the dust, what time Skrillex’s set begins or whatever you need to say to make it seem like your conversation is the only important thing happening in the world. Keep talking as you brush past whatever security or line happens to be in your way, don’t stop, don’t show anybody anything, if they ask to see your wristband just wave your wrist full of bands at them but keep talking and walking. Your conversation must continue deep into the VIP area until there’s no chance of capture. Now you’re in. Ditch your cameras or trade them for water bottles and go boogie!
Sneak in Strategy #2 – The Locals Wall
Apparently all the locals make their way into the festival this way. They gather at a specific wall, all sitting on top of it waiting until there’s at least 20-40 people hanging around. At the right moment they pounce, charging the gates all at once and hopping past any and all security that gets in their way. Sure maybe a couple get caught and thrown out till the next round, but the majority break through and run clear into the disco tent where they can loose sight of themselves for a few hours amongst a swarm of sweaty cool kids. If you can find the wall with a bunch of people waiting on top, give it a shot. Just practice your hurdles beforehand, those metal fences are high for the untrained foreigner.
Sneak in Strategy #3 – The Boring Handoff
This is by far the most boring and most grueling strategy of them all. It requires infinite patience, a community of friends who like you enough to put in effort to get you in and tiny tiny hands. Wait, text, wait, hang out, hold on, they’re coming, wait a bit longer, then yeah! Someone comes out and hands you a tight tiny wristband. Just put it on quickly and don’t let anyone see you. Good luck getting it off and back to the original owner without ripping it off, it’s happened to me more times than I can count.
Sneak in Strategy #4 – Almost Famous
This is all about knowing somebody, you probably need to begin planning for this one now so you’re ready when Coachella 2015 comes along. Get yourself onto a golf cart in the parking lot, someone famous should be on that cart, you should know that famous person well enough for them to vouch for you and ideally give you your own wrist band (this may take more than a year depending on your skills at befriending famous people). Should they not hook you up with that, just hope they’re driving fast enough to cruise you through security without anyone asking you any questions.
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Pretty straightforward right? We’re sure one of these options will work for you this year. Just show up prepared and be sure to pack your running shoes, some tiny hands, a bunch of expensive cameras and your closest famous friends! Happy Coachillin fam.
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